It happens when you meet a friend of a friend on a night out, at job interviews, Introductions, meeting new colleagues at work, etc... I'm sure you're saying "but you have to make judgements at job interviews" and yes I would agree but what if the candidate is having a ridiculously bad day? They could have come across better had you interviewed them the day before or the day after. Probably a silly point for me to make, but it's true isn't it?
Now Introductions are probably another situation where people make quick judgements. Talking for the first time over the phone may lead some people to say "no i'm no interested in this person", but why? how can you judge someone on one phone call? Most people I'm sure speaking to an introduction a second time or even meet them in person. For those that decide on a phone call, how on earth do you just know they're not worth speaking to again or meeting? Has it happened to me before? yes it has, I once had an introduction that I later found out didn't feel a "spark" when we spoke for the first time. Hence i've always asked those questions, i'm sure others have had similar experiences?
It's amazing how we as people take first impressions to be a given. We meet or even observe people for the first time and think "this person is great" or "this person a total idiot". How many of you have first met a person and said something along those lines? I certainly have in the past and to be honest I probably still do. It's something that people just do, I would say we do it subconsciously but some people probably just do it because that's how they take information in about people.
It's an interesting topic, so I decided to conduct an experiment on Facebook. I asked people to tell me how they know me and what their perception of me is. I received some interesting messages back. One friend told me that she thinks I'm a pretty deep guy with a lot of thoughts but her opinion of me was completely different before we even spoke. Before speaking she thought I was a snobby geek. Some of you would probably agree with that statement but I was definitely surprised that someone without even speaking to me would even think that.
What makes the thought of perception and others impressions more interesting is that they could be completely different to how we think we put ourselves across. Taking the example from above, I feel I come across as quiet and calm and that to others, and obviously one person can and has come across as snobby. That raises another question, should we be concious of how others perceive us? Some may already be like that; they may be very self concious and put themselves in a shell just because they're worried about what others think. People looking at these self concious people might take the view that they don't want to mingle or be sociable with anyone. I've always been a fairly self concious person, in the past always worried about what others think and to an extent am probably still like that, particularly around people new to me.
With first impressions seeming to be important I thought I'd ask what people think. The question I posed on my status was "How Important are First Impressions?". Unsurprisingly most people agreed that first impressions do matter. Why? Because the first meeting or conversation with a person gives us an image of what that person or people are like. Sometimes we just have to see someone or people and judge them by how they work or even how they greet others.
Many of us probably say to ourselves and others that we don't really care what people think, but is that really true? Do we really not care what others think? I don't think anyone in this world lives without caring what someone thinks of them. They might not show it but deep down they probably do care and it does matter to them.
Here's another question, should we ask ourselves how our perception of others effects them? Ever thought how your perception of someone effects them?
So, Do you care what others think? Do people perceive me the way I put myself across? Do you care about how your perception of people affects them?
Personally I do think first impressions matter but I don't think they should. Unfortunately that's never going to change as we not only do it consciously but sub-consciously too. It's annoying but it's something you have to deal with right? It's the way the world and society works. It's amazing how perceptions can change though once you get to know people, then again, it may not change at all! I do think we're too quick to judge and should have more of an open mind when meeting new people but I don't think it will change. It's almost like humans are programmed to judge and make judgements quickly. Think about it and let me know what you think.
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