Changes - Expected?

I recently posted a status update on Facebook that said "It's Amazing how quickly things change". The status was put up because of a conversation I had with someone, where everything almost seemed to flip upside down. That got me thinking (yes I do that all the time anyway), change is part of our everyday lives, from the moment we are born to the moment we die. So, why at times is it so hard to deal with sometimes? Why can't we just expect the change?

There are many changes that we experience in life, here's a few of them: Friends, Relationships, Personality, Physical Appearance, Education and Work. Some of you might say "each of those have some sort of link to at least one other", and yes I would agree, sometimes the change that takes place in one is as a result of a change in another. So if we're so used to this, why is it that we sometimes struggle to accept those changes?

I wrote a note a while ago talking about how often people come and go from our lives, they all have some reason for entering our lives. Some of us make friends from a very early age, let's say from Nursery or Primary school and keep in touch with these friends for the rest of our lives but many of us probably won't even remember the names of all our friends from Nursery or Primary school. Why not? Well, things change, people drift apart and make new friends. Moving from middle school to high school, there's a change in itself; your friends from primary/middle school may have gone to different high schools and since then you have been as close as you were.

The situation may also have arisen where you go to the same high school as most of your friends but met people that have come to high school from different primary/middle schools and may have different interests and views on things. Making these new friends could have caused a change in your personality, you may have started to act differently around your old friends, so was this change in personality permanent? or just a temporary phase? Well, it could have been either, some of you may have accepted the change in your personality without even knowing or realising. Some on the other hand, may have realised and thought "what the hell is wrong with me?" and "Switched" back, but isn't this still a change of some sort?

Making new friends is something we all do throughout our lives and I'm sure most of you would agree that friendship is a form of relationships. Again, change is present in relationships too, some friendships could turn in to other forms of relationships. Some people may see a change in their friendships as they become closer i.e. some may progress from friendship to a romantic relationship or some may turn friendship in to more of a sibling relationship. Change is shows itself again, these are certainly the more obvious cases of change from a friends perspective and we realise our feelings have changed for a person or person(s). If two people in a circle of friends start seeing each other romantically, does that change things for the other friends? Well yes, it probably does some may struggle to accept the change and feel like they have to act differently around the couple. Some may start seeing the two people as "one person" as they now come as a pair.

I've just touched on some of the things that change in our lives, but the point I'm trying to get across and also seek opinion of is, do we expect the changes that happen? Do we even realise something in our life has changed? How do we react when we realise? Did things change a few years ago and you never realise?

Personally I do think it's amazing how things change without us even realising. I think we have to learn to embrace change whether we see it as good change or bad change. Let's face it, if something's changed, chances are it won't be changing back any time soon. Change is part of our lives and a saying I believe in "Life: Live it, Like it, Love it!"

Opportunities - Past, Present and Future

December is usually a time of year when many of us reflect on how the year has panned out for us as individuals, our family and friends. While we reflect on the year we look at things that went well and things that did not go well for us during the year. Some of us might even think about how things could have been different and ask ourselves "what if...". These two words are ever present in our minds, wondering how different things would or could have been if we had made different decisions. 

A particular part of this reflection is opportunities we were presented with, not only over the last 12 months but overall in life. Opportunities like job offers, that person that was smiling at you on the train but you didn't smile back or say hello, telling someone how you felt about them before you drifted apart, missing out on joining a club or organisation in it's infancy that is now huge.

Obviously I cannot speak for others but the areas above are ones I have questioned myself and I'm sure others have done so too. Those with self esteem issues compare themselves to others and think "If only I had the same opportunities as them". We convince ourselves that someone else's life is better than ours without knowing what they have been through to get where they are or knowing whether they are actually happy or not. These people we look at and think "I want to be like that person" or "why can't I be like them?" may have their own issues, and they may actually be looking at you thinking "wow, they have such an awesome life".

Opportunities in life come and go, where one opportunity turns it's back on you for whatever reason, another one presents itself. Whether this new opportunity is one you want to pursue though is up to you to analyse and decide upon. My personal experiences tell me that there is no right answer, if you decide to take an opportunity, make the most of it. If you don't take an opportunity, don't look back in regret, remember your reasons for not taking it and learn from it, and if such an opportunity presents itself again evaluate it for what it means to you at the time.

I guess the point I'm trying to make is that we should not look back in regret at our actions in the past but learn from those actions and use them to help mould our future. If an opportunity comes knocking, look at it, if it's worth taking at the time, then take it as it's the right decision for you at the time. If the opportunity is not right for you, decline it, because at that time it's the right decision for you to make.

Opportunities present themselves to us over time, just like the good times and bad times. That's just life; Live it, Like it and simply Love it!

Football - Such a Crazy "Sport"

So again for those that know me, I'm quite passionate about Football whether it be playing or watching my beloved Liverpool FC playing or just watching a random game on Tv. 

I was sitting on the Bakerloo line last night, on my way home from the work "Xmas Party" and was entertained by a couple of guys sitting opposite me talking about Football. They had been sitting on the train before me so I managed to tune in to the conversation with the conversation about the World Cup in South Africa, and how the England players that "played" let everyone down. That was actually the closest they got to talking about how the team played out there, the rest of the conversation focussed on Money; how much it cost one of them to go out to South Africa, how much those players get paid and because they get paid so much they don't care about the fans.

It doesn't surprise me at all that the conversation focussed on money particularly as Football these days is more than just a Sport, it has become a business. Many argue that since the Premier League was formed in 1992, combined with the increased Television coverage from Sky & co, money has become the talking point of the "Sport". I put quotes around Sport because the sporting element at times is lost; people, whether they be pundits, managers, players or even fans tend to focus on who's getting paid what. 

Further evidence of Football becoming a business is when teams are challenging for champions league places or if a team is on the verge of being knocked out of the champions league, people tend to say things like "that will cost them X number of millions". Relegation from the Premier league loses teams 30 odd million even with parachute payments.

With money being top of the agenda for clubs and players these days it's obvious that there will be casualties and the first person than usually gets it, so to speak, is the Manager. If a team suffers a few bad results, the manager is usually under pressure and if the poor results continue after a couple of games the Manager usually loses his job. Some recent examples would be Mark Hughes at Man City last season and Chris Hughton this season. With so much at stake for these clubs aka businesses decisions are sometimes made in haste showing a lack of patience, putting managers under pressure as soon as they take the jobs.

I guess I'm just trying to say that Football seems to have lost it's focus a bit, all the conversations seem to be about how much money a club can make, a player can earn or how much money is going to be lost. Why isn't the primary focus the games? the results? the wonderful skills on display?

My beloved Liverpool were taken over by new owners a short while back; they may not have the same financial muscle as the Man City or Chelsea owners but they know sport, they know how to run a team. As long as they listen to the fans and do what's right for the FOOTBALL club they'll get my support. Money of course is now part and parcel of the game, so as long as the future of the club isn't at stake and they're securing that future they will enjoy the pure support and passion of the Liverpool fans.

Other clubs I'm sure will be taken over soon but at what cost to the sport? Has football now gone too far down the line and just become a business world? Is it still a sport? Can fans talk about Football without mentioned the word money?

Any ways, those are just a few of my thoughts and some questions I'm asking...what do you guys think?

YLANL's The L Factor - Promoting Talent

For those of you that know me, know that I have been involved with a Youth Community organisation called The Young Lohana Association of North London (YLANL) for 5 to 6 years now. The organisation had been dormant for a number of years which meant that the Youth of the community were missing out on meeting and getting to know their fellow Lohanas. A group of us decided it was about time the Youth organisation was resurrected an almost re-branded as YLANL.

YLANL's main principle is to serve the youth of the community, in that provide Young Lohanas with a platform to meet fellow lohanas by hosting club nights (Spooky Session, Valentines Crush and Midsummer Madness), speed dating events and The Lohana Cup (the 5 a side football tournament). These events are  limited to those 18 and over. We also cater for young children by hosting Kidz Klub on the first Sunday of every month for children of 5 upwards, where we arrange activities for them from Christmas card making to doing a Kids Garba during Navratri. A Family event we enjoy hosting and attending is Mehfil ki Shyam, a night of music performed by a live band for the whole family to enjoy.

This brings me to my main topic of discussion for this blog post; The L Factor, our flagship event that we have hosted every year since December 2007. The L Factor is a talent show/competition that epitomises what YLANL is all about; promoting and encouraging Young Lohana talent, providing them with a platform to not only show off their talents, whether they be singing, dancing, telling jokes, etc.., but to provide them with the confidence to pursue those talents for the long term.

There are many talented people out there that do not get enough encouragement or support to pursue their interests and passions. YLANL's  The L Factor aims to give them that "push", whatever their age, and help them fulfil their potential. It is not only the encouragement that our organisation/committee gives but the encouragement of you the public that gives the performers confidence and helps them to enjoy themselves on stage.

With all of that said, I'd like to request as many of you as possible to attend the show on Saturday 11th December 2010, at the Zoroastrian Centre, in Harrow (see flyer attached for full details). Tickets are only £15 per person including refreshments.

Your support means a lot to us as an organisation as it shows us we're taking the right steps in fulfilling the targets we have set ourselves. So please do come and support YLANL and most of all the talented people performing on stage.

See you all on Saturday.
(For more info about the show or just about YLANL, you can get in touch with me or visit the website (www.ylanl.co.uk) 

You Live and You learn or Do You?

As each minute, hour, day, month and year go by, our experiences increase. Some may be good/positive and some may be bad/negative. My point is, we go through so many different things, sometimes in very short spaces of time and sometimes over long periods, but do we ever take a moment to reflect and take in these experiences and learn from them?


I'm sure everyone has different ways of taking in these experiences and maybe some don't even realise. We sometimes take each and every experience for granted, say to ourselves "I'll definitely keep that in mind for next time", but do we actually keep these things in mind? 

I've always wondered if we treat these experiences differently i.e. do we accept the happy/positive moments and think great, let's move on....or do we actually learn from the happy moments, just like we do the sad/negative?

Many would say that they learn from the bad things that have happened to them in life and that they won't make that same mistake again because they've learnt from it, but does anyone ever say they have learnt anything from a happy/positive moment? You can almost compare this to media stories, the vast majority of the stories are of negative things e.g. the recession, robberies, violence, etc.. Good stories don't often make the front page of a newspaper or the headlines of the news on TV. Is it because people only care about the bad/negative stories? 

I think it's important to keep some sort of consistency between the two types of experiences, as we can ensure that lessons we learn from negative experiences in life help us to turn our future experiences in to positives. It's also just as important to remember happy/positive experiences because we can ensure that we learn things from these happy moments and practice them at later dates too...would you agree?

Maybe we take positive experiences for granted, causing us to be complacent? that could be it's own story!


So tell me people, how do you deal with all the different experiences? Do you take the good experiences for granted? What advice would you offer to people that do